the path

this is my dream
this is all i ever want

it isnt just another day for me, its another chance to exemplify the GOD within me through my work. to express a feeling, a thought, a word, a whatever through the end of my camera lens. its why i breathe

thats why im so conflicted. so unable to be a normal person and just do normal things, because i want to do some of everything possible within this realm. i sleep it. i live my life in ISO levels. My breaths are measured in shooting speeds. i blink in f/stops....

you get me.

there was this moment in star trek nemesis when shinzon was about to make his run at earth and captain picard is like "he must not be allowed to use that weapon, all other concerns are secondary...you all understand me..." and with that hes looking around the room at the people he as served with on the starship enterprise for the better part of a decade and each one of them looks at him and realizes that if if means DEATH to defend the ideals of the federation the they are willing to pay that price

i would die for my art. im looking around the pieces of my soul, the different sections and nooks and crevices that i have served with for the better part of 27 years and I know what that meant now. I will die for this, all other concerns are secondary...

this is why i am here.
why i was born
why i struggled through my marriage
why i spent three nights in jail,
why i still love alpha
why I will always love Tynell
why I will grow to love Shanina
why i despise being lied to
why i seek something greater than myself
why i love paul like the best friend that i've ever had
why I no longer seek anything less than a woman's company
why my children are filled with smiles and giggles

because I can finally say
I understand what being a man means to me
and that is alot.
wow.